It was approximately 10 months after hurricane Katrina. My uncle's house had survived the hurricane, but was burned down when a power line fell two weeks after the storm. We were fortunate that everyone was able to evacuate so everyone survived. We (my family) were traveling down to New Orleans to visit some of my relatives, but mainly my grandfather.
My grandfather(nicknamed Nemo) wasn't in the best condition. Nemo had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease many years ago, and his health was slowly getting worse. Over the past years Nemo had become more and more forgetful. Whether it was him forgetting an old family members name, or forgetting where he was, Nemo could never completely find his bearings anymore.
When we visited New Orleans it was usually a happy visit during which the French Quarter and other attractions were visited, and Nemo was forgetful, but O.K. This time visiting was hard. Despite the fact that it was ten months after the hurricane had hit, it looked like it came through the day before we came. We drove through the areas that were near the levees that had broken. There were boats sitting in random areas near the road(even though the flooding was over). The devastation almost made you sick. After that we went and visited Nemo. Nemo looked worse than anyone i had ever seen.
Nemo was having kidney trouble and other problems that tend come with old age. He wasn't taking his medicine, he wasn't sleeping well, he ached everywhere and he just seemed overall tired and depressed. When we talked to him he would look at us like strangers if he even did look up, and he would hardly ever respond. Now it seemed like the only thing that could get a rise out of him was "do you want a bacon cheeseburger Nemo?". Days went on with the status quo. We celebrated his birthday but he didn't even seem to understand. We then said our goodbyes, hugged, and headed back to Charlottesville.
We then went back to our daily life with a little more bleak outlook. I was at lacrosse practice on a friday about a month after that. At the end of practice my neighbor came with my sister to pick me up. I thought to myself,"why is my neighbor picking me up, wheres my mom?", but I just dismissed it thinking my mom has had a busy day and cant pick me up. We got out of the car, thanked my neighbor, and started to walk down the driveway, when my sister stopped me, and told me that Nemo had died earlier that day. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I had never had to deal with death before, except on the news. Nemo was gone forever.
1 comment:
You don't need the "had" in your second sentence.
When you say, "we (my family)" I don't know who you are talking about: Parents? Brother? Sister? Uncles? Aunts? Be specific.
You don't need to tell us that it was 10 months after Katrina again in the 3rd paragraph.
This would be a good place for figurative language, "It was 10 months after Katrina, and yet boats and other random objects cluttered some of the roads. "
Your 4th paragraph is a great place for more emotion and details. I get a sense of the emotions you were feeling, but I don't feel it.
I'd like to see more of how you dealt with his death. Clearly he meant a great deal to you, but you end it so abruptly.
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