WA-2 (final draft)

Jack walked the long hallway, the cop leading him by his cuffs.  He entered the small room where his attorney, a guard, and his concerned parents were sitting.  His mother took one look at him and burst into his tears, his father gave him a look that might have killed him, if he hadn't dealt with it before.  

The Attorney began saying, "Mr. and Mrs.Henderson", then he paused," I'm sorry."  He continued by explaining that Jack would most likely be sentenced to 2-3 years in the juvenile corrections facility.  "Due to the fact that this Jack's the third offense, I don't think the jury will be too forgiving this time."   Jack just stared at the ceiling like he always did when he had done something that he knew was wrong, exerting all the effort he could not to meet his father's eyes.

Jack's parents left, and he was escorted back to back to his temporary cell,  which he noticed was much nicer than the regular cells.  He lay down on his bed, just waiting for his court date.  He died a little inside, every time he looked through the window and saw a 12 foot fence surrounding him.  A sunny day always looked sunnier from the inside of a cell, gazing out at the field with absolutely nothing but open space.  Jack wondered whether the free space was there to taunt the prisoners, but the truth was he did not really care, he was just trying to cope with his current situation.  Jack had been in this situation before, but had never been worried.  He had gotten off with two accounts of misdemeanor in the past, but he knew he would not this time.  He thought to himself, "man you really screwed up big this time. Why do you always do these kinds of things?"  

A week Jack later got up and showered, dressed, and went to court.  Jack wore a suit that was two sizes too big for him.  The Judge walked in addressing the jury and sat down.  He hammered his gavel, "Bang Bang", This court is now in session", he said.  Jack held a key in his hand, which had brought him both bad and good luck at times.  The judge recited the synopsis of the offense.  Then Jack was called up to the stand.  A light in the court room that was on felt like a spotlight on Jack.  The prosecutor asked Jack several questions that made him feel like he was on the show, Law and Order.  With each question Jack shrunk into his chair like an embarrassed teenager   His hands shook so much that he had to hold on to the cold, smooth arms of thee leather chair he sat on.

The prosecuter finished, and Jack returned to his seat, slumping and fearing the worst.  His mom grabbed his hand and squeezed, as though trying to hug him with her hand.  She was a mechanical vice, squeezing harder with each word the judge said.  A jury member stood up and began to speak, " we find the defendant, GUILTY."  The judge sentenced him to 30 months in juvenile prison.  Emptiness. Jack hugged his father, and then his mother.  His mother whispered she loved him and that she was so sorry that he was getting locked up.  "Is this for the best?", Jack thought, " I cause so much trouble everywhere I go, maybe this is for the better."  

Jack went back to that same old dark and dreary cage that he may as well call his home.  He just lay in his bed, looking out the window.  He reflected on his life, all the wrong turns he had taken, and all the crimes he had committed.  He was bound to get caught at some point.  He could not face the fact that he still had 29 months and 30 days left of this mind-numbingly monotonous facility.  So he just waited for the time to pass, him to get older, and a horrible part of his life to pass.

WA-2 (second draft)

Jack walked the long hallway, the cop leading him by his cuffs.  He entered the small meeting room where his attorney, a guard, and his very concerned parents were sitting.  His mother took one look at him and burst into his tears, his father gave him a look that might have killed him, if he hadn't dealt with it before.  

The Attorney began saying, "Mr. and Mrs.Henderson", then he paused," I'm sorry."  Then he continued to explain that Jack would most likely be sentenced to 2-3 years in the juvenile corrections facility.  "Due to the fact that this is the third offense, I don't think the jury will be too forgiving this time."   Jack just stared at the ceiling like he always did when he had done something that he knew was wrong, exerting all the effort he could not to meet his father's eyes.

Jack's parents left, and he was escorted back to back to his temporary cell,  which he noticed was much nicer than the regular cells.  He lay down on his bed, just waiting for his court date.  He died a little inside, every time he looked through the window and saw a 12 foot fence surrounding him.  A sunny day always looked sunnier from the inside of a cell, gazing out at the field with absolutely nothing but open space.  Jack wondered whether the free space was there to taunt the prisoners, but the truth was he did not really care, he was just trying to cope with his current situation.  Jack had been in this situation before, but had never been worried.  He had gotten off twice before, but he knew he would not this time.  He thought to himself, "man you really screwed up big this time. Why do you always do these kinds of things?"  

A week Jack later got up and showered, dressed, and went to court.  Jack wore a suit that was about two sizes too big for him.  The Judge walked in addressing the jury and sat down.  He hammered his gavel, "Bang Bang", This court is now in session", he said.  Jack held a key in his hand, which had brought him both bad and good luck at times.  The judge recited the synopsis of the offense.  Then Jack was called up to the stand.  A light in the court room that was on felt like a spotlight on Jack.  The prosecutor asked Jack a series of question that made him feel like he was on the show, Law and Order.  With each question Jack shrunk into his chair like an embarrassed teenager   His hands shook so much that he had to hold on to the cold, smooth arms of thee leather chair he sat on.

When the prosecutor was done questioning Jack he sat down and slumped in his chair, fearing the worst.  His mom grabbed his hand and squeezed, as though trying to hug him with her hand.  She was a mechanical vice, squeezing harder with each word the judge said.  A jury member stood up and began to speak, " we find the defendant, GUILTY."  The judge sentenced him to 30 months in juvenile prison.  Emptiness. Jack hugged his father, and then his mother.  His mother whispered she loved him and that she was so sorry that he was getting locked up.  "Is this for the best?", Jack thought, " I cause so much trouble everywhere I go, maybe this is for the better."  

Jack went back to that same old dark and dreary cage that he almost could call his home.  He just lay in his bed, looking out the window.  He reflected on his life, all the wrong turns he had taken.  He could not face the fact that he still had 29 months and 30 days left of this mind-numbingly monotonous facility.  So he just waited for the time to pass, him to get older, and a horrible part of his life to pass.

WA-2

Jack walked the long hallway, the cop leading him by his cuffs.  He entered the small meeting room where his attorney, a guard, and his very concerned parents were sitting.  His mother took one look at him and burst into his tears, his father gave him a look that might have killed him, if he hadn't dealt with it before.  

The Attorney began saying, "Mr. and Mrs.Henderson", then he paused," I'm sorry."  Then he continued to explain that Jack would most likely be sentenced to 2-3 years in the juvenile corrections facility.  "Due to the fact that this is the third offense, I don't think the jury will be too forgiving this time."   Jack just stared at the ceiling, exerting all the effort he could not to meet his father's eyes.

Jack's parents left, and he was escorted back to back to his temporary cell,  which he noticed was much nicer than the regular cells.  He lay down on his bed, just waiting for his court date.  He died a little inside, every time he looked through the window and saw a 12 foot fence surrounding him.  A sunny day always looked sunnier from the inside of a cell.  Jack had been in this situation before, but had never been worried.  He had gotten off twice before, but he knew he would not this time.  He thought to himself, "man you really screwed up big this time. Why do you always do these kinds of things?"  

A week later got up and showered, dressed, and went to court.  Jack wore a suit that was about two sizes too big for him.  The Judge walked in addressing the jury and sat down.  He hammered his gavel, "Bang Bang", This court is now in session", he said.  Jack held a key in his hand, which had brought him both bad and good luck at times.  The judge recited the synopsis of the offense.  Then Jack was called up to the stand.  A light in the court room that was on felt like a spotlight on Jack.  The prosecutor asked Jack a series of question that made him feel like he was on the show, Law and Order.  With each questions Jack shrunk into his seat and looked at his attorney, and his attorney would nod with an expression that said, "you can answer that."  His hands shook so much that he had to hold on to the cold, smooth arms of thee leather chair he sat on.

When the prosecutor was done questioning Jack he sat down and slumped in his chair, fearing the worst.  His mom grabbed his hand and squeezed, as though trying to hug him with her hand.  She was a mechanical vice, squeezing harder with each word the judge said.  A jury member stood up and began to speak, " we find the defendant, GUILTY."  The judge sentenced him to 30 months in juvenile prison.  Emptiness. Jack hugged his father, and then his mother.  His mother whispered she loved him and that she was so sorry that he was getting locked up.  Was this for the best Jack thought?  " I cause so much trouble everywhere I go, maybe this is for the better."  

Jack went back to that same old dark and dreary cage that he almost could call his home.  He just lay in his bed, looking out the window.  He reflected on his life, all the wrong turns he had taken.  He could not face the fact that he still had 29 months and 30 days left of this mind-numbingly monotonous facility.  So he just waited for the time to pass, him to get older, and a horrible part of his life to pass.

WA-1(Emotional Release)-Final Draft

It was approximately 10 months after hurricane Katrina.  My uncle's house survived the hurricane, but was burned down when a power line fell two weeks after the storm.  We were fortunate that everyone was able to evacuate, so everyone survived.  My brother, sister, my dad and I were traveling down to New Orleans to visit some of my relatives, but mainly my grandfather.

My grandfather(nicknamed Nemo) wasn't in the best condition. Nemo  had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease many years ago, and his health was slowly getting worse.  Over the past years Nemo had become more and more forgetful.  Whether it was him forgetting an old family members name, or forgetting where he was, Nemo could never completely find his bearings anymore.

When we visited New Orleans it was usually a happy visit during which the French Quarter and other attractions were visited, and Nemo was forgetful, but O.K.  This time visiting was hard, not only because of the state of my grandfather, but because of the state of New Orleans.  Driving in the lower ninth ward was like a safari, but instead of trees and vines there were boats and scattered pieces of houses.  The shock of the scene was like a brick wall had been dropped on us.  Nobody had yet gotten over the loses from the hurricane.  Now on top of this my grandfather was very sick.

Nemo was having kidney trouble and other problems that tend come with old age.  He wasn't taking his medicine, he wasn't sleeping well, he ached everywhere and he just seemed overall tired and depressed.  When we talked to him he would look at us like strangers if he even did look up, and he would hardly ever respond.   Now it seemed like the only thing that could get a rise out of him was "do you want a bacon cheeseburger Nemo?".  Days went on with the status quo.  We celebrated his birthday but he didn't even seem to understand.  Everyone just drifted through the days like some strange dream, that they just wanted to wake up from.  Nobody could begin to deal with the emotional distress that was eating at them like a parasite.  We then said our goodbyes, hugged, and headed back to Charlottesville.

We then went back to our daily life with a little more bleak outlook.  I was at lacrosse practice on a friday about a month after that.  At the end of practice my neighbor came with my sister to pick me up. I thought to myself,"why is my neighbor picking me up, wheres my mom?", but I just dismissed it thinking my mom had a busy day and was not able to pick me up.  We got out of the car, thanked my neighbor, and started to walk down the driveway, when my sister stopped me, and told me that Nemo had died earlier that day. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I had never had to deal with death before, except on the news.  Nemo was gone forever.  No more visits to celebrate his birthday, no more silly stories about when my aunt, uncle, and mother were children and got into trouble.  Just a hole in my life where joy had so recently overflowed

WA-1(Emotional Release)-Second Draft

It was approximately 10 months after hurricane Katrina.  My uncle's house had survived the hurricane, but was burned down when a power line fell two weeks after the storm.  We were fortunate enough that everyone was able to evacuate, so everyone survived.  We (my family) were traveling down to New Orleans to visit some of my relatives, but mainly my grandfather.

My grandfather(nicknamed Nemo) was not doing very well. Nemo  had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease many years ago, and his health was slowly getting worse.  Over the past years Nemo had become more and more forgetful.  Whether it was him forgetting an old family members name, or forgetting where he was, Nemo could never completely find his bearings anymore.

When we visited New Orleans it was usually a happy visit during which the French Quarter and other attractions were visited, and Nemo was forgetful, but O.K.  This time visiting was hard, not only because of the state of my grandfather, but because of the state of New Orleans.  It was 10 months after Katrina, and yet boats and other random objects cluttered some of the roads.  Nobody had yet gotten over the loses from the hurricane.  Now on top of this my grandfather was very sick.

Nemo was having kidney trouble and other problems that tend come with old age.  He wasn't taking his medicine, he wasn't sleeping well, he ached everywhere and he just seemed overall tired and depressed.  When we talked to him he would look at us like strangers if he even did look up, and he would hardly ever respond.   Now it seemed like the only thing that could get a rise out of him was "do you want a bacon cheeseburger Nemo?".  Days went on with the status quo.  We celebrated his birthday but he didn't even seem to understand.  We then said our goodbyes, hugged, and headed back to Charlottesville.

We then went back to our daily life with a little more bleak outlook.  I was at lacrosse practice on a friday about a month after that.  At the end of practice my neighbor came with my sister to pick me up. I thought to myself,"why is my neighbor picking me up, wheres my mom?", but I just dismissed it thinking my mom had a busy day and was not able to pick me up.  We got out of the car, thanked my neighbor, and started to walk down the driveway, when my sister stopped me, and told me that Nemo had died earlier that day. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I had never had to deal with death before, except on the news.  Nemo was gone forever.

WA-1(Emotional Release)

It was approximately 10 months after hurricane Katrina.  My uncle's house had survived the hurricane, but was burned down when a power line fell two weeks after the storm.  We were fortunate that everyone was able to evacuate so everyone survived.  We (my family) were traveling down to New Orleans to visit some of my relatives, but mainly my grandfather.

My grandfather(nicknamed Nemo) wasn't in the best condition. Nemo  had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease many years ago, and his health was slowly getting worse.  Over the past years Nemo had become more and more forgetful.  Whether it was him forgetting an old family members name, or forgetting where he was, Nemo could never completely find his bearings anymore.

When we visited New Orleans it was usually a happy visit during which the French Quarter and other attractions were visited, and Nemo was forgetful, but O.K.  This time visiting was hard.  Despite the fact that it was ten months after the hurricane had hit, it looked like it came through the day before we came.  We drove through the areas that were near the levees that had broken.  There were boats sitting in random areas near the road(even though the flooding was over).  The devastation almost  made you sick.  After that we went and visited Nemo.  Nemo looked worse than anyone i had ever seen.

Nemo was having kidney trouble and other problems that tend come with old age.  He wasn't taking his medicine, he wasn't sleeping well, he ached everywhere and he just seemed overall tired and depressed.  When we talked to him he would look at us like strangers if he even did look up, and he would hardly ever respond.   Now it seemed like the only thing that could get a rise out of him was "do you want a bacon cheeseburger Nemo?".  Days went on with the status quo.  We celebrated his birthday but he didn't even seem to understand.  We then said our goodbyes, hugged, and headed back to Charlottesville.

We then went back to our daily life with a little more bleak outlook.  I was at lacrosse practice on a friday about a month after that.  At the end of practice my neighbor came with my sister to pick me up. I thought to myself,"why is my neighbor picking me up, wheres my mom?", but I just dismissed it thinking my mom has had a busy day and cant pick me up.  We got out of the car, thanked my neighbor, and started to walk down the driveway, when my sister stopped me, and told me that Nemo had died earlier that day. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I had never had to deal with death before, except on the news.  Nemo was gone forever.